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Church of Satan: Third Side Intelligence

In his essay "The Third Side: The Uncomfortable Alternative" (Satan Speaks, Feral House, 1998), Magus Anton Szandor LaVey shatters the commonly-held notion that there are "two sides to every issue," and defines the Satanic perspective as the Third Side. It is from this pespective that our articulate members will present to you their individual commentary on current events, media, politics, and culture.

For centuries mankind has formed clandestine cabals sharing arcane lore and forbidden rites. At times the uninitiated have glimpsed the secrets shared by captains of industry, back-room dealers, and men of science fueled by forward-thinking philosophies. We now fling wide those concealing curtains to bring you expressions of Satanic thought. Welcome to Third Side Intelligence.

You will find the most recent posts from our official Third Side Intelligence feed, found at, below. We are displaying them here for your ease of reviewing our current media briefs, without leaving our website.

Posted on Tuesday October 10, 2017

Third Side Intelligence: Missouri AbortionsAn ongoing case in...

Third Side Intelligence: Missouri Abortions

An ongoing case in Missouri has received publicity wherein activists masquerading as Satanists are involved in a lawsuit regarding currently mandated pre-abortion procedures. As our organization, founded in 1966, defined for the world the meaning of Satanism as a religion and philosophical point of view, we’ve been asked by journalists for a statement. Here is some food for thought.

We Satanist citizens of the United States uphold the separation of church and state as mandated by the U.S. Constitution. When considering matters regarding legislating what someone can and cannot do with their own bodies, we think doctors and scientists are far better consultants for establishing state-fostered medical procedures than religious leaders or other “people of faith.” If a state has enacted laws based on any particular religion’s values, those laws should be challenged and struck down on the basis that they violate the separation of church and state which Americans are supposed to uphold, not by muddying the waters with arguments based on competing religious points of view. Thus we uphold secularism as the standard for our government and its doings, not religious pluralism.

A little bit of research makes it clear that The Satanic Temple is self-acknowledged satire and an activist group, which pretends to be a religion when it suits their ends. They do not reflect the philosophy of Satanism which our organization has outlined in great detail over five decades, though at times they clearly lift ideas from our extensive literature. We consider anyone claiming to be a Satanist and solely using TST membership as evidence as either being misinformed or as lying. The supposedly “sincerely held beliefs” of TST adherents are scanty, nebulous, and contradictory. We have compiled this fact sheet which provides evidence for our evaluation of them, and which we think any rational individual would want to consider before accepting their press releases or other statements at face value.

The Church of Satan does not condone political activists appropriating the name of our 50 year old religion in support of their activism, whether we agree with their stated goals or not. As a “new” religion, compared to the majority of commonly acknowledged belief systems, keeping our definitions clear is imperative so that Satanism can be understood from any cultural point of view as a distinct and developed religion that has at this point inspired thousands towards fulfilling their lives. Thus when our members state that they are Satanists it can be readily known that they advocate governmental secularism, liberty and equity for all under the law—with all genders and orientations included, so long as believers in other religions do not use force to demand submission to their doctrines or other religiously inspired values.

—Reverend Joel Ethan

Original Post

Posted on Monday September 18, 2017

Speak of the Devil Presents Third Side Intelligence:U.S....

Speak of the Devil Presents Third Side Intelligence:
U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs

Wednesday, September 20th / 8pm MST

In this episode, Reverend Campbell is being joined by Citizen Jeff Bowling and Warlock JNothing. Together we will be discussing the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. We will go over what the organization is meant for, how it is failing, it’s scandals in recent years, and what veterans think about the organization itself.

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Hail Satan!

—Reverend Campbell

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Posted on Tuesday August 29, 2017

Extreme Left, Safe Spaces & Censorshipwith Reverend Raul A....

Extreme Left, Safe Spaces & Censorship
with Reverend Raul A. and Brandon Phinney

Saturday, September 2nd / 1pm MST

Speak of the Devil presents Third Side intelligence. Reverend Campbell is joined by Reverend Raul A. and Brandon Phinney to discuss the extreme left, safe spaces & censorship.

There has always been an extreme reaction to political dominance. Sometimes that reaction turns into a movement and defines the future of political discourse, for a cycle at least. The last reaction was the Tea Party that can be felt in congress’ inaction to this day. But there has been an equal and opposite reaction to the perceived-or-valid injustice to the majority and that is the topic of this episode.

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Hail Satan!

—Reverend Campbell

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Posted on Thursday August 17, 2017

Third Side Intelligence: Benjamin DeCasseres, Free Speech &...

Third Side Intelligence: Benjamin DeCasseres, Free Speech & the ACLU 

Magister Kevin I. Slaughter, historian of Benjamin DeCasseres and other egoist philosophers, passes along this 1930s letter from that old Imp to the New York Times, which today just published an op-ed asking the ACLU to take a “creative” and “holistic approach” to “Free Speech.”

We hope they stick to defending ACTUAL free speech. Our Magister is one of the ACLU’s newest members, but not the only one from our ranks.

Letter text:

To the Editor of the New York Times:
As a member of the American Civil Liberties Union I wish to protest against the attack of Hamilton Fish Jr. on that one body in this country that is doing more to preserve and defend fundamental principles of American ideals of individual liberty than all other bodies combines.
I am not a Socialist, a Communist, a Fascist or a Nazist. I am an incurable Jeffersonian Democrat, and there is only one organization that understands just what the underlying principles of Jeffersonian democrazy are, and that is the American Civil Liberties Union.
Benjamin DeCasseres
New York, March 28, 1934

Original Post

Posted on Monday July 31, 2017

High Priest Peter H. Gilmore Comments on John Oliver’s Alex...

High Priest Peter H. Gilmore Comments on John Oliver’s Alex Jones Segment (Friendly Atheist) 

The fact that Jones dons a blue sports jacket and a Rolex, which he equates with the values of human prosperity and empowerment — actual Satanic values — to infiltrate and expose us is laughable.

We certainly appreciate bespoke suits and finely crafted accessories, but Jones is going to need more than those trinkets to “enter our world.” Fundamentalist Christian hucksters like Jones always prey on the fears of their followers by providing scapegoats, so we aren’t surprised that he preaches an anti-life morality to personally profit off those gullible enough to buy into his irrational conspiracy theories.

Tormenting the parents of the Sandy Hook victims gets no kudos from us, for as Satanists we seek justice, which means punishing actual criminals and not using such tragedies as a means for promoting fantasies about non-existent conspiracies.

Full article available at

Original Post

Posted on Friday July 21, 2017

Speak of the Devil Third Side IntelligenceHigher Education &...

Speak of the Devil Third Side Intelligence
Higher Education & Debt with Witches Troj & Zaftig

Monday, July 24th / 8pm MST 

Speak of the Devil presents Third Side Intelligence. Reverend Campbell is being joined by Witches Troj and Zaftig to discuss higher education and debt. Between predatory lenders and accessibility to higher education, does it benefit a population in the long term? Is the exorbitant cost of higher education creating a closed loop of classism? Even if you attend higher education, and are now buried in debt, will you realistically be able to pay it off, or find a job with a high enough salary to make a realistic dent in it?

You can learn more about Witch Doctor Troj on The Raising Hell Podcast where she is a regular contributor. Witch Zaftig can be found at her blog Unorthodoxy with Witch Zaftig.

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Hail Satan!

—Reverend Campbell

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Posted on Friday July 07, 2017

Hobby Lobby & ISIS Sitting in a Tree… Theists wanting...

Hobby Lobby & ISIS Sitting in a Tree…

Theists wanting to control what those around them may do is not a new thing, nor does any religion have an monopoly on that behavior. Openly call it Sharia or thinly veil it as Religious Freedom, the motivation and goal is the same—using whatever power you have at your disposal to force those around you to comply with your religion’s beliefs. One need look no further than at the bloody history of Christianity’s fractious denominations or at the replies we receive on Twitter to know that—if they thought they could get away with it—directing violence at people not sharing their beliefs would fast be on the menu. Hell, you can look at recent domestic terrorist attacks in the US and see that many of the faithful don’t even care if they can get away with it. But, as groups who think they have God-given blessings, they grab for any available form of dominance whenever they can to assert their righteousness.

Christian extremists think of themselves as polar opposites and antagonists to Islamic extremists—and that conflict goes back to The Crusades, when Europeans invaded the Middle East, ostensibly to protect their Christian heritage. The mercenary soldiers looted art and artifacts and stole land from the local Muslim infidels, raping and pillaging with the support of their clerics. And of course there were Islamic invaders of Europe who did the same thing to those they overwhelmed. We know these theists are all cut from the same cloth and that this proposed separation is only about particular holy books, not methodology.

Anyone who has been watching this space knows Hobby Lobby as the Christian-owned company that fought in court for the right to avoid paying for some insurance-covered employee health benefits due to “deeply held religious beliefs.” More interestingly, they’re back in the news for smuggling ancient Iraqi artifacts into the US. They claim an interest in amassing such things to bolster their belief in their scriptures. Now that they’ve been caught, Hobby Lobby has agreed to pay a sizable fine and will forfeit all the artifacts to their nation of origin which has many applauding that justice has been done. Yet that ignores a crucial piece of this story—from whom were they purchasing these looted artifacts in the first place? 

That’s not really a question so much as a way of revealing an answer that we already know. They were in all likelihood buying them from ISIS. The Islamic State ransacking of historical sites is well documented, as is their destruction of historically important art and architectural landmarks. What’s also known is that they also sell-off anything they can to help fund their other terrorist operations. Following that math to it’s logical conclusion results in the extremist Christians at Hobby Lobby directly financially contributing to ISIS coffers. That forms of theism mutually hostile towards one another collude here is shocking to the naive but unsurprising to objective observers as these believers have all often shown their willingness to compromise supposedly “deeply-held” ethics if it means furthering their broader agendas. Sadly, this behavior is standard practice for the oh so publicly pious and we expect many would find it disgusting and in the case of supporting terrorism, an act of treason.

As Satanists, we are not surprised to see these religious extremists in bed with each other. But we do not endorse that these practices should continue, as they lead to ongoing subjugation of non-believers. We do not differentiate between which book of fables or which imaginary celestial friend is used to justify whatever form of oppression is being forced on others. We object to all theism-based social control, legally backed or otherwise. And we recognize these opportunistic hypocrites for what they are, and continue to stand in opposition, advocating for a truly secular society in which all are held accountable for their actions.

—Reverend Joel Ethan

Original Post

Posted on Monday July 03, 2017

Satanism is Americanism! Then and NowOn this upcoming...

Satanism is Americanism! Then and Now

On this upcoming Independence Day some of us will look back at these words by our founder Anton LaVey and reflect on what’s changed and what remains the same. After being confronted with the factions vying for influence over our society, many conservatives have unfortunately chosen God over The Flag, betraying the clear secularism of our Founding Fathers. Our nation again finds itself in a struggle between partisan extremes from which I trust a new clear-thinking generation will arise to cut through and find a Third Side, embracing and continuing the progress we’ve made towards individual freedom while questioning hypocritical religious morality. 

—Reverend M. Hunter

To sum up our political doctrine: Satanism IS Americanism in its purest form, with only the outdated moral codes altered to fit the times, and with recognition of the fact that only if man’s most basic instincts are satisfied can a nation receive his best. When it becomes common knowledge that we do not advocate or even approve of denial or desecration of such sacred American traditions as home, family, patriotism, personal pride, etc., but instead champion these things, our one-time opponents in “The Establishment” will not have a leg to stand on.

Actually, in view of the vast numbers of religious leaders defending and expounding the extreme liberal philosophy of the hippie or drug culture, conservative organizations will (and already do) find Satanism far more compatible with their doctrines than they now think it to be. I feel rather sorry for (but, I must admit, amused, by) the poor old “dyed-in-the-wool” con­servative who considers The Flag and God to be in­separable institutions, because the “New Christianity” is composed of the drug-befuddled wretches they find totally reprehensible. It looks as though one is going to be forced to choose between God and The Flag, or else become part of a dying society. I realize most would think me far too optimistic, but I can simply see the change coming.

I think back just five short years ago, when I formally founded the Church. How many theologians were admitting to the irrationality and inconsistencies of their religions? Practically none! And once the stern, unyielding Christian Churches have admitted their errors, they might as well admit to defeat.

It is in young people such as yourself—proud walkers of the Left-Hand Path—whom I place my faith for the future of this, our fair land. America shall, indeed, have a bright future, once she has “weathered the storm” of those two opposing factions who respectively hate and love her, but would see her torn asunder in order to prove their respective points.

Love for one’s country must be shown in much the same way as love for another person. We must be able to see her faults and work towards changing them, without robbing her of all pride and dignity in the process. On the other hand, we must not blindly accept her faults and constantly make excuses for her, for that is not love—it is infatuation!

—Anton Szandor LaVey

(1971, from his column “Letters from the Devil”)

On Third Side Intelligence our articulate members present to you their individual commentary on current events, media, politics, and culture. Their views and opinions are their own and may not reflect those of other members of the Church of Satan.

Original Post

Posted on Sunday June 18, 2017

HERE WE GO AGAIN? “Satanic” Graffiti in Amityville This morning...


“Satanic” Graffiti in Amityville 

This morning I awoke to news stories proclaiming that three churches located in North Amityville in Suffolk County on Long Island were vandalized with SATANIC GRAFFITI. Apparently, some time Saturday night, a vandal scrawled on the external walls of the Amityville Full Gospel Tabernacle, the Shaw Temple AME Zion Church, and the Zion Gospel Church, all close to one another. Oddly, none of the major news reports, which include ABC’s Eyewitness News account, show any of the graffiti. However, it was explained in other reports that the offending graffiti was painted over before the Sunday morning services. I did find one image posted online in the past few hours of an upright pentagram in a circle painted on a set of double doors. The footage shown on ABC, including an interview with Pastor Willard Price of the Zion Gospel church, includes an image of doors that may be from the same building, but the graffiti had already been overpainted. The report states that the police are calling this “satanic graffiti” and that it is being investigated as a hate crime.

During my search for additional images of this so-called “satanic graffiti,” I discovered a report that there had been another vandalism incident five days ago in East Meadow Long Island—roughly ten miles west of last night’s crime—which was being labelled the same way. CBS News reported that the New Covenant Church of East Meadow was vandalized with “satanic worship symbols.” Their pastor, Rob Taormina, states in an interview that “if somebody came and painted your house up with satanic symbols I think you’d be disturbed, too, ‘cause you don’t know who they are and you [don’t] know if they’d come back.” In this case, a glass vestibule door was smashed as well.

I’ve long been a consultant for law enforcement, assisting during investigations of crimes using unusual symbols, and I’ve not yet been called in on either of the incidents mentioned above. However, upon examining the news story images, what stands out to me immediately is that in both towns a form of pentagram was drawn which has one point up. This is not a symbol used in either Satanism or Devil worship—where two-point-up pentagrams are employed—but is found in the neo-pagan religion of Wicca in its various forms. The East Meadow images show inverted crosses and the word “Satin” which shows that the writer is either illiterate, or into shiny fabric. Also the words “DEVIL, WITCH, SPELL, CURSED” as well as a “frowning face” emoji are crudely inscribed.

Now, if the criminal doing this vandalism was actually knowledgable about Satanism or Devil worship, then I think the pentagrams would be the proper sort, not the neo-pagan version we see here. Also the incorrect spelling of “Satan” and simply the use of terms popularly associated with witchcraft lead me to think that the person who did this is most likely a Christian who is going by fairly typical misprisions regarding these non-Christian religions. This hateful person wanted the people attending these churches to feel that this crime was done by an adherent of Satanism, Devil worship or some form of witchcraft involving reverence for The Devil—like you see in horror films or in those books published by evangelical Christians which spread grave misinformation about non-Christian religions.

This sort of thing was common during the years of the “Satanic Panic” back in the 80s-90s, wherein similar graffiti—often accompanied by “666” and symbols used by various anti-Christian metal bands—was found on building walls and under bridges and so on. Back then, such things were likely done by metal fans who shared the anti-Christian biases of the bands they followed or by disaffected youths dabbling in the sort of “satanism” they saw being depicted by the media as a form of rebellion. We deal with the meaning of 666 and other symbols on our web site.

These two recent incidents look more to me like they were done by a Christian who wants people to think that somebody associated with a religion employing these symbols has a grudge against these churches. It is clear to me that, whether Christian or not, the perpetrator is ignorant of Satanism, Wicca, and Devil worship. Whatever hatred is in the mind of this criminal, the deed was done by someone who is not an adherent of Satanism, Devil worship or Wicca, and simply wants to blame their own anger on these other religions while terrorizing the congregations of these churches.

Even when vandals do use symbols that reflect Satanism, since we have a philosophy that does not condone criminal actions it should be clear that anyone committing such crimes is not a Satanist, or if self-identified as such is acting in a manner contrary to our belief system. This article from 2008 covers this topic rather well.

Considering the past lunatic obsession with a manufactured conspiracy of predatory “satanists” out to get people, it is incumbent upon both law enforcement and the media not to jump to unwarranted conclusions by proclaiming this is “satanic graffiti” when Satanism is not its source. The Church of Satan is a 50 year old, legally incorporated religious organization with members worldwide who abhor this sort of crime. We’ve been through one hysteria—begun by evangelical Christians and taken up by misinformed law enforcement agencies and sensationalist media outlets—that caused harm to many innocent people. We do not want to see that madness rising again, abetted by uninformed or biased forensic analysis and reportage. I trust that this vandal will be apprehended via diligent police work based on an accurate grasp of the deeds done and receive due punishment for these crimes.

—Magus Peter H. Gilmore

Relevant links—

North Amityville Coverage:

East Meadow Coverage:

‘If You’re Setting Fire To Churches, You Are Certainly An A**hole, But You’re No Satanist’ —Interview from 2008 debunking church vandalism as being Satanic.

Original Post

Posted on Monday June 12, 2017

Speak of the Devil Presents Third Side Intelligence:Russia &...

Speak of the Devil Presents Third Side Intelligence:
Russia & Trump’s Campaign

with Magister David Harris & Reverend Darren Deicide

Tuesday, June 13th, 8pm MST

Speak of the Devil Presents Third Side Intelligence. In this first episode of TSI, Reverend Campbell will be joined by Magister David Harris, Darren Deicide and special guest Patrick DeMarko. We will be discussing Russia & Trump’s Campaign, covering the left and right’s perspectives and moving beyond them to Third Side Intelligence’s Satanic Third Side perspective.

You can learn more about Magister David Harris’ recent projects at Darren Deicide’s music, tour dates and news can be found at

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Hail Satan!

—Reverend Adam Campbell

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