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Church of Satan Sigil of Baphomet

Paris, Proud Center of Abomination  A guest on Fareed Zakaria’s GPS show on CNN this morning, France’s ambassador to the U.S. Gérard Araud was asked by Zakaria to react to ISIS’s reasoning for targeting Paris as a center of prostitution, in essence Sodom and Gomorrah. Araud responded that “We are proud to be that.” He emphasized that a message needs to be sent that they are keeping the French sense of “joie de vivre” and stated: “We are a center of abomination for these guys and our intention is to remain such.” I offer a horned salute to this bold and earthy […]

Church of Satan Sigil of Baphomet

Governmental Evangelism? Presidential hopeful John Kasich, the governor of Ohio, rashly proposed creating a governmental agency to promote “Judeo-Christian” values as part of his projected approach to national security should he be elected. At his National Press Club speech, Kasich stated that he’d create “a new agency that has a clear mandate to promote the core, Judeo-Christian Western values that we and our friends and allies share: the values of human rights, the values of democracy, freedom of speech, freedom of religion and freedom of association.“ Fortunately the constitutionality of such a nonsensical concept was swiftly raised even amidst the media frenzy […]

Church of Satan Sigil of Baphomet

Gingerbread Click-Bait Latte: Regarding the Starbucks Holiday Cup Controversy For the few people on the Internet who still haven’t heard the story about Starbucks and the alleged controversy over their 2015 holiday cup design, Snopes has a great summary which you can read here. Don’t worry, this article isn’t a rant about Starbucks coffee itself or their supposed business practices.  If it’s Starbucks bashing you want, I’m sure you can find some website that will cater that. Now I enjoy religion bashing as much as the next Satanist. And I suppose that Satanically, there’s something good to be said about […]

Church of Satan Sigil of Baphomet

Listening to Gilbert Gottfried: A Worthwhile Torture

Ever since the launch of Gilbert Gottfried’s Amazing Colossal Podcast, I have been overwhelmed by a reluctant urge to spread the word. Perhaps unfortunately, I’ve decided that I cannot recommend it highly enough. Gottfried is what some might call “stuck” in the past. In this case, that unfashionable attitude is a Satanic virtue. His guests are showbiz veterans who share his old-fashioned obsessions, often having played a part in that very history. Gottfried and his co-host also review films, a number of which happen to be on the Church of Satan’s recommended viewing list. Combining irreverent humor with reverence for the […]

Surrealistic Inspiration for Satanists

As an artist, I often compare our legitimate claim to Satanism as similar to the Impressionists’ embrace of a label that had previously been intended as an accusation. But our proactive stance in defining Satanism is also reflected in the foundational text of my favorite artistic movement: “Those who might dispute our right to employ the term SURREALISM in the very special sense that we understand it are being extremely dishonest, for there can be no doubt that this word had no currency before we came along. Therefore, I am defining it once and for all…” —André Breton, The Surrealist […]

The Feigned Martyrdom of Kim Davis

The death throes of righteous Christianity—that arrogant belief system used to forcing others to bend to its irrational dogmas—offer its more masochistic adherents the opportunity for martyrdom through punishment they so richly deserve, but not for the reasons they claim. According to the New York Times, Ms. Davis’ lawyer, Roger Gannam, believes she has been incarcerated for her “belief of conscience that marriage is the union of one man and one woman”. This is incorrect, she’s in jail because she refuses to do her job and is being held in contempt of court for acting as if she’s above the rule […]

AHRIMAN causes ANGST

The New York Times reports on a sculpture exhibition in the town of Highland Falls, just outside of the United States Military Academy at West Point, which includes Joseph Jaskolka’s piece titled “Ahriman Crowned” amongst a more typical gathering of contemporary works chosen by a curatorial committee, all meant to symbolize leadership and wisdom. It stands across from the Sacred Heart of Jesus Church, seemingly pointing towards it and thus unnerving some of the parishioners.  From the article: Mr. Jaskolka said the sculpture, named for the Zoroastrian spirit of destruction, was a personification of the negative forces of materialism in 21st-century […]

Planned Parenthood Panic?

On Saturday, August 22, Christian groups protested in front of Planned Parenthood clinics across the United Sates whom they’ve accused of abetting the illegal sale of fetal tissue for profit. One group of activists milked this situation for media attention with a theatrical stunt opposing the protestors, resulting in them being deemed black-robed devil worshippers by journalists who did not grasp the intent of their symbolism. Anti-abortion activists previously infiltrated Planned Parenthood locations to film employees and clients and edited their comments together as a means for whipping-up a nationwide campaign to curtail funding for this organization which in their […]

Satanist Methodists?

On Monday, August 10, Waller County Sheriff R. Glenn Smith, in what seems to be an attempt to insult United Methodist pastor Hannah Bonner, said: “Why don’t you go back to the Church of Satan that you run?” Reverend Bonner has been active for roughly the past month in an ongoing protest against the death of Ms. Sandra Bland in the Waller County Jail, maintaining a presence with fellow activists of varying belief systems in the nearby parking lot. A few minutes later Sheriff Smith pointed to Bonner, who was filming him with a camera, and referred to her as […]

HELL’S BELLS: Satanic Weddings

With the recent SCOTUS decision allowing legal same-sex marriage throughout the USA, certain religious groups have rushed to condemn this position. In contrast, the Church of Satan welcomes this landmark ruling. During our Year 50 Conclave (held this past Walpurgisnacht in Washington, DC) our Reverend Lee Crowell, who resides in Virginia, discussed his successful 2012 legal battle to be allowed to officiate at weddings, one part of his responsibilities as an ordained Priest in the Church of Satan. While ministers of many faiths typically are granted this privilege without question, Crowell—a successful attorney—had to contest the initial denial, even though […]

MEREDITH WHITNEY, THE “WITCH” OF WALL ST. & THE POISONOUS FRUIT OF IRRESPONSIBILITY

I’m a Street addict, and Meredith Whitney has the good stuff. If you recall, a veritable witch’s brew wafted around her 31 October 2007 report on Citigroup ©, predicting Citigroup would cut its dividend because it was holding too much worthless paper. Some have said that Ms. Whitney is the Oracle of Wall Street. Some CEOs are probably still having nightmares of her flying around on a broom. Ms. Whitney has class and doesn’t call CEOs who cannot comprehend their own books liars, but rather errs on the safe side that they are just dullards. While Whitney had some rough […]

“The means by which a humanoid may be constructed are as diverse as the choice of materials will allow.”—Dr. Anton Szandor LaVey, The Devil’s Notebook. Decades ago, Dr. LaVey predicted a future industry of android companions. As we are making our way into the second decade of the 21st century, a genuine bond between man and machine is closer than ever. The company that introduced The RealDoll to the world has started a new enterprise called, Realbotix. This new effort brings robotics and artificial intelligence to the RealDoll, with an end goal towards creating the illusion of sentience within the […]