The Disabled Satanist or What to do When One’s Legs Never Quite Worked Right
The statement has been made over the years—usually by detractors or former members or never-weres—that, because of our founder’s interest in eugenics, somehow the disabled are unfit to be Satanists. Well, I won’t presume to speak for the dead, but did these people read the same book I did? As is well-known by now, Magus Anton Szandor LaVey’s The Satanic Bible takes some influence from Ragnar Redbeard’s Might Is Right, which champions the subjugation of the weak by the strong. There is, of course, a caveat: the clever rule the strong.
Furthermore, who is “strong” and who is “weak” is open to interpretation. When I was young, I had dreams of military service. Reality set in and it was then that I had my first taste of being an “other.” By that, I mean I knew I wasn’t like “normal” folks, and I ended up either hated, bullied, or protected because of that. In my late teens, this led me to The Satanic Bible.
At this point, a bit of an autobiographical aside is in order, so to quote the Rolling Stones, “Please allow me to introduce myself.”
I was born on Thursday, November 3, 1977. I’d like to tell you there was some major cosmic occurrence that heralded my arrival on Earth, but, to be quite frank, I’m lucky to be alive. I was two months premature, with so severe a level of jaundice that two full blood replacements were required, to say nothing of my breached birth, collapsed lungs and the umbilical cord around my neck. That required a tracheotomy. For the better part of two years, I was non-verbal, and taught sign language. My struggles began there, and as I’d mentioned before, there was more than my fair share of bullying and being hated for my otherness. Through it all, and missteps aside, including a horrible Junior High period, I soldiered on. What kept me going, through many untold days of frustration, was my will, and my ever-growing misanthropy, and the fact that, little by little, I embraced that I wasn’t like other kids my age. I actually preferred reading, movies, and video games. My mom basically forbade me from dating until later, because studies came first. Junior High mercifully ended, and then High School started, which was much easier for me. I enrolled, by choice, in Junior ROTC, and my tenacity not only saw me attain the rank of Cadet Staff Sergeant, which was one rank below Staff positions in the Corps at graduation. For three years our unit achieved “Honor Unit with Distinction.”
After graduating High School, over that summer I’d been listening to a lot of King Diamond. And upon reading an interview transcript, I was drawn to King’s mention of Satanism. A few weeks later, on a shopping trip, I picked up The Satanic Bible.
Everyone matures and grows at a different pace, but after that first read—and a disastrous First Phase—as I’ve made my way through life, Satanism has kept my feet firmly on the ground. I’ll likely never be running a marathon or go base-jumping or mountain climbing in the physical sense, but I have scaled mountains in my personal life, including coming back from an unexpected hiatal hernia that almost killed me, back in 2013, and a bowel blockage in 2018. Of course, I didn’t do it alone, but if what I’ve mentioned doesn’t embody the quote “Victory is the basis of might!” then I’m quite frankly at a loss to say what does. All of this should stand, if you’ll pardon the pun, as proof that I make up for my lack of physical prowess with a razor-sharp mind. Over the years, I have embodied and applied Satanism, be it via my podcasts on Radio Free Satan—The Metal Grotto and formerly Metal Invaders, and my collection of erotic horror poetry Obsidian Odes, as well as the various interviews on Satanism I’ve given over the years.
This puts me squarely in the “capstone of the pyramid” which Magus Gilmore mentions in “A Primer For Fledgling Misanthropologists,” found in The Satanic Scriptures. By my will and cunning, by my wile and guile, do I not only survive, but thrive! Not only that, but I do it with a deck stacked against me quite firmly. It should be noted, however, that I hold all the aces.
In answer to the critics, the willfully ignorant, and the naysayers: Yes, the disabled can be Satanists, and resoundingly so. Satanism has been a “warts-and-all” philosophy since its inception in 1966. It takes people from all, if you’ll pardon the pun, walks of life. All that matters, is that you are the best version of yourself that you can be.
My life, with all of its ups and downs, is positive proof that I roll with the punches.
Robert J. Leuthold
Warlock in the Church of Satan
