The Fall from Grace - Defying Parental Hegemony
“Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.”
~ William Makepeace Thackeray
Hi there Neighbor,
There comes a moment when some of us make the daunting choice to be responsible for our own happiness. It sounds simple enough doesn’t it? Yet so many times we end up reverting back to childish ways, in a world that for us no longer exists. Our time as children is filled with moments of unconditional trust in those we call Mom and Dad. When they put us to bed, it is with the unspoken promise that we’ll awake come the morning. When they give us food, that it will nourish us and make us strong. When they lead us onward, that it won’t be anywhere we won’t be coming back from. Regardless of your faith or lack thereof, your children look upon you with the same adoration and reverence as the most fervent believer does upon their chosen symbol. To them… You. Are. God. But every one of us remembers those moments during our adolescence when we came to the realization that you couldn’t talk to your Father about anything, that your Mother did have a frightfully angry side to her and that neither of them could always be around to protect you. Our parents are not Gods to be idolized, they are simply people. And as much as some of us choose to be our own personal Gods, we do our children no favors when we allow them the illusion that we can be the same for them.
From the time of our birth till we rush headlong into the world, we move through life seeking to please and placate people with very different life experiences and personal perspectives than our own. For the first two decades of life any pride and happiness we experience is based heavily on the satisfaction and through it, support, that we receive from our guardians. For so many it is the overriding factor in every decision that they make. Yet continuing that emotional symbiosis upon which we were raised spells nothing but failure for those unable to start living for themselves. The choice to live by the standards of people a generation or more removed from you means that you will ever be living in someone else's past, unable to truly meet those expectations as the world moves on without you. The good old days are gone, and in many cases with good reason.
The tale of Lucifer and his fall from heaven is one which provides the most concrete and explanative of analogies for what we Satanists view as the empowerment of choice. Lucifer, in spite of his exalted position in heaven and being given the most sacred of duties, was more interested in leading a life of his choosing than forever toiling under the yoke of his celestial dictator. As the story goes, fully a third of heaven followed him into exile as he was cast from heaven for his hubris, they too of the mind that there was something better than sanctified slavery. But we can take the story nine steps further than its preaching’s of sinful pride and view it for the tale of emboldenment that it is. Lucifer was not seeking to be as God was, to fill his shoes and take on the role of most high. He wanted to be his own God, to abscond entirely from his father’s divine totalitarian regime and in doing so provide the example for those who wished to fulfill their own desires in life. The very promise of freedom was reason enough to risk his fall from grace and be cast aside into the pit of the disobedient and the unwanted. But who’s to say that wasn’t Lucifer's plan all along?
To be a Satanist means holding no one higher than yourself and taking ownership for the life you choose. We do not do this through sermons of empty words or demands for conformity to our ideals but through the actions we willfully commit. The very lives we live are examples to those around us, proving that there is a better way, but only if you’re strong enough. Your own desires and ambitions must be at the forefront of the plans you make for your life. By all means, should you have a close relationship with your parents, considering their feelings on certain matters is only natural. But you can’t let those feelings steer you away from the course that will most fulfill your life and help support the lives for which are you are accountable. There indeed comes a time as an adult when you must put away childish things, and one of them is seeking the approval of those you once sought constant validation from. If you’re living your life in a manner which makes them happy but you miserable, it’s not really much of a life is it? So many young people (and adults besides) make all the wrong choices for all the wrong reasons; following in their father's footsteps as a tradesman when they truly wish to be a pilot, going to a college that’s closer to home to please a controlling mother even though they were accepted into a prestigious institution far away, falling in love with someone their parents won’t approve of and breaking off the relationship when they find out about it. Even such things as what kind of car to drive, where to live, how the grandchildren are raised, what circles to associate with, what religion to practice, how to celebrate holidays, what to eat, how to dress. All of these involve giving up the power of responsibility while being ultimately culpable for the consequences, and it is the surest way to ruin your life. Your parents lived their lives. They had their chance. You only get the one, and it doesn’t belong to the people who raised you, no matter how grateful you are for your existence.
Much of this may not apply to you if your parents are a positive influence in your life and have always supported you in making your own decisions. And if that sums up the relationship you have with those who raised you, count your lucky stars and take every opportunity to show them the kindness they deserve. But many among us are not so fortunate. As we’ve grown older, after years of guilt trips, passive aggressive behavior and even downright vilification, we’ve had to remove these toxic individuals from our lives for fear they’ll infect all we hold dear and undermine the very successes we’ve endeavored to attain. For those of us who have chosen to have families of our own, the choice is one of necessity. Our children deserve to have better examples of the parent/child relationship than the tense encounters they observe when grandma and grandpa come around. They need to see that true strength comes from letting go of the things that hurt us, not learning to live with it because it’s what's expected of you. If you dread going home for the holidays, often swipe ignore on your phone when your parents call or find that you’re relieved when you end a day spent with them… you have to decide just how much their involvement in your life means to you. Does it serve a purpose, or is it another thing which needs to be put aside?
All of this by no means should be used as justification to disrespect those who care for you or to create disharmony in the home they provide. Barring actual instances of abuse, each family has a culture all its own and until you are able to break away from it, just like society, there are conventions you need to follow if you’re going to have any sort of decent life. Even the most introverted and individualistic among us must learn to fit in when it suits our purpose, and your adolescent years are certainly a prime environment to learn how to do this. While not all mothers and fathers are worthy of being honored, until such a time comes when you’re no longer beholden to them, challenging yourself to be better than those who raised you is certainly a goal worth striving for. Because at the end of the day, when you’re all alone inside your head, reflecting upon your life and the twists and turns it’s taken, all you’ll have is that voice inside of you asking if you’re worth it, if you’re good enough. And in that moment, you won’t have your mother or father, your grandparents, close relatives or your dearest of loves to whisper you their answers. You’ll have the person who comes first in life, the one who matters most and the only person who can truly decide whether the life you’re living and the companions you keep are worthwhile. The person who has the power to defy every God ever invented, the skill to craft a life of their choosing and the will to stand proud in that creation.
“You are the God-being that is here to create life, to breathe soul into your body, to walk this world as your own source of power, love, worth and life.”
~ Joy Page
Hail Satan!
Warlock Milton C. Cruver
Milton Cruver
Warlock in the Church of Satan
