By Reverend AEnigma
BDSM—or s/m, as an oldhand like myself still generally prefers to call it—has come a long way since
the days of the “Old Guard,” when homophile military veterans and biker clubs
in leather and chains indulged in rougher erotic experiences as a part of their
bonding and mating. Indeed, it has now become even so popular that an
international bestseller with BDSM as a theme is being turned into a major
motion picture.
Or has it?
Upon inspection, it is
immediately clear that this novel’s success is much more the result of clever
marketing than about unusual sexual practices now being accepted into the
mainstream. To the discerning, Fifty Shades of Grey is poorly written “chick-lit” churned
out for the audience that eagerly devoured books like Twilight and The Hunger Games.
In fact, I discovered after beginning this piece that FSoG was initially conceived as Twilight
fan fiction, so it was apparently not just my imagination in seeing
the similarities. No
critical adult reader could stand more than a few paragraphs of it without
throwing it aside in literary disgust. And that is long before arriving at the
“kinky” sex scenes, which are sometimes outright irresponsible as viewed by
actual BDSM practitioners. The story tells of a weak-willed, doe-eyed,
insultingly naïve protagonist who first idealizes a dominant man—a creepy
stalker with jealousy and anger issues—and then seemingly loses what little
brain cells she had as he takes complete control of her sad simile of a life.
I will not go into any
depth concerning the actual s/m (*cough, cough*) portrayed in the book as the
Internet is full of FSoG reviews
pointing out that many practices depicted here should never be tried in real
life. It is worth keeping in mind that a Mr. Grey would actually be a dangerous
sociopath—he goes so far as to inspect protagonist Anastasia’s bank account
behind her back—a type that all women and men (especially the young and
gullible) should stay as far away from as possible. This book is fiction, not a realistic chronicle of
those who indulge in BDSM, and so I think the sane limits and precautions that
one adheres to in real life practices should not necessarily apply to a work of
fantasy. Fiction is make-believe and escapism, after all, and the rules of
reality do not apply—but one must not mistake fiction for reality or realism.
My traditionally
favorite s/m author, Pat (now Patrick) Califia, has written both realistic
stories and more “dark and dangerous” s/m tales that would be unhealthy to act
out in real life, and did both types very well. Then again, Patrick Califia is
also a deservedly well-respected old-school pioneer and authority on BDSM
culture and creative sexuality in real life, and so knows what he is writing
about from experience. So while the BDSM portrayed in FSoG should not be tried at home, it remains fiction and
therefore I personally do not think it has to be realistic. There is certainly
much better and more credible BDSM literature out there, fiction and
non-fiction, that is both realistic as well as fanciful.
The danger, of course,
is that people who have FSoG
as their first exposure to something vaguely resembling BDSM—and find it
exciting—do not know any better and might try imitating the book, being unaware
of the possibility of self-harm. Although, in my opinion, it is perhaps more
likely that readers might simply use this as a source for erotic fantasy. A few
might try some light bondage, but nothing more intense, which could be fine, so
long as it is done in a sensible fashion—something of which FSoG does not provide a good example.
Readers of FSoG might also be led to believe that sociopaths are the norm
within the BDSM subculture, and find that idea actually reinforced by the many
media portrayals of it over the past decades. People of extreme character will
often be drawn to what are seen as “darker” subcultures. They might try to
infiltrate them or create their own perverted versions in an attempt to gather
willing followers and victims. Satanism has certainly had its share of
outsiders who use its name to justify their unfortunate behavior. Yet it
remains, I think, worthwhile to point out that those disturbed individuals
actually have no place in sane BDSM relationships or encounters or clubs. Nor
are they, for that matter, part of Satanism, a point which sadly also seems to
need continued reiteration.
Concerning the actual
reading experience of this novel: if, like me, you are fluent in Dutch, then
you are in luck. I have read interviews with the translator of Fifty Shades of Grey into Dutch wherein
she admitted that she was distressed by the poor quality of the writing style
and repetitive use of certain words, phrases and expressions. The integrity
that causes her to state this openly, rather than to put the bestselling author
on a pedestal, certainly becomes her. So she tried to improve the text where
she could, within her boundaries as a translator, and introduced a bit more
variation than the “oh my” and “consulting my inner goddess” snippets that we
encounter 72 and 53 times respectively in the first book alone (source: The Wire, et al).
According to this
infographic at Digital Book Today, Anastasia (truly a name fit for a princess, and a further hint at the target
audience for these books) uses the word “holy” 147 times, which is to say every
3-5 pages—which is more frequently than the 1960’s TV Batman’s sidekick, Robin.
This main character, who, incidentally, majors in literature (can anyone
tell?), apparently has quite a limited vocabulary. Then again, the other
characters generally have no depth and are sometimes such cartoonish
stereotypes that they might fit well in the first Harry Potter book. However,
this approach clearly sells.
The gimmick wherein
the main character needs to consult an “inner goddess”—apart from her
subconscious with which she also engages in dialogue instead of consulting the
rational part of her brain—is likely added to the book as a wink and a nod to
certain women’s self-help literature. Those writings proclaim that women must
free, or in the best case become, their “inner goddesses” in order to realize
their full potential in the face of perceived male oppression. In essence, this
may not appear too different from the Satanic practice of ritualization,
wherein a Satanist utilizes ritual to trigger a part of the subconscious that
responds to direct emotional stimulation, instead of the more meditative
intellectual and rational aspects of consciousness. If it were this that was
being portrayed, the novel would have some redeeming qualities. Anastasia,
however, is not setting free her “inner goddess,” nor is she entering into a
ritualized space as an “intellectual decompression chamber” to go beyond her
surface mental chatterings to a deeper aspect of her self. Rather, she consults
this “inner goddess” for advice on how to act, submitting what little critical
thinking she possesses to a deified aspect of her own subconscious, while she
learns to submit her whole self to a rich and abusive partner in hopes of
gaining and holding his favor.
And here we arrive at
the essence of the story: Anastasia is so strongly driven by the desire for a
man and a child—and thinks so lowly of herself—that she is willing to enter
into a relationship with what is essentially a dangerous sociopath in order to
achieve her goals. In the bestseller Twilight,
the main character has about the same amount of self-love and self-respect,
which should come as no surprise given its influence on the author of FSoG. What does this say about these
authors’ views of women, I wonder? And, for that matter, about the massive
number of readers who spend money on such books, devouring them like crazy? For
all the achievements of the feminist movements, we have in these past years
seen several novels (and I use the term loosely) aimed at women that have
become international bestsellers which depict decidedly weak female leading
characters who are wiling to submit to almost anything in order to win male
companions. In contrast, the philosophy of Satanism empowers our Satanic
Witches to spot the true colors of creepy predators such as Mr. Grey from miles
away. These potent women would doubtless decide on more emotionally mature
partners, whether they were seeking s/m play, more “vanilla” encounters or
other types of relationships.
That the director of
the upcoming Fifty Shades of Grey
film, Ms. Sam Taylor-Johnson, has in the past also directed James Bond Supports International Women’s
Day, lends some hope that this might be one of those rare cases where the
film will be better than the book. But the story, and Anastasia in particular,
will need serious re-writing for that to happen. The jury is out on whether Fifty Shades of Grey, The Movie is set
to become the next 9 ½ Weeks.
I, for one, bear in
mind the wise Mark Twain—someone with real literary merit—who stated that
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
Just because a book sells well does not necessarily indicate a high literary
quality—something I, as an avid reader, notice time and again when I peruse the
lists of bestsellers. There is plenty of more valuable BDSM-themed fiction and
non-fiction out there. There is plenty of better “chick-lit” and “mommy-porn”
out there, too. My mysanthropological streak makes me shake my head in wonder
when seeing how woman-hating books like Fifty
Shades of Grey receive such a huge following among female readers. It is in
fact the best selling book in Britain since such records began. Surely that is
something to ponder, dear feminist readers.
Meanwhile in the real world, in Belgium one couple was
recently arrested for engaging in consensual sadomasochistic activities and the
British government is banning various kinky but harmless porn websites from
being viewed within Britain. So the success of this book, and strong interest
in the much-hyped upcoming motion picture, is not really an indication that s/m
is becoming more acceptable in society.
The masses are now a bit more knowledgeable on the
subject compared to the days of the “Old Guard,” thanks to efforts at education
and media clarifications by various bona fide BDSM organizations and clubs
worldwide. However, they seem to remain only vaguely aware of what the concept
really entails in actual practice by people who might be their friends,
neighbors, or even family. This is natural, if one’s interests simply do not
really move in that direction. At least now there are worthwhile sources for
accurate information if one wishes to understand the truth about BDSM
practitioners.
On the other hand, with Fifty Shades of Grey being such a massive best-seller, one might be
tempted to presume that BDSM practices have emerged from remote, underground
locations filled with sweaty leather-clad men wielding belts, ropes and chains
into the bedrooms of many a respectable middle class married couple with satin
sheets, silky scarves and candlelight to enhance their erotic experiences. It
would certainly be nice to think so as, in my opinion, both—and many “shades”
in between—have their charm.
While I remain convinced that many more couples have
blindfolds and handcuffs in their nightstand drawers than would openly talk
about such, I cannot hold the illusion that FSoG has in any way helped BDSM gain more acceptance. Its core concept, as of Twilight, is that of an insecure young
woman falling for a powerful “bad boy” and being willing to do anything to
please him so that he might give her attention and want to possess her. This
could be an element of a BDSM relationship—the domination/submission aspect
many like to indulge in—were it not that in reality there would be a strong
degree of caring involved underneath the play. In FSoG this reciprocity remains absent. It is a story about
wanting to please a sociopath, not about risk-aware consensual kink. Anastasia
wants a relationship so desperately that she prefers an abusive relationship
with Mr. Grey over having the self-love to seek a healthy one with someone
else. This is not s/m, it is insanity. Or put more mildly, it is the easier
path of submitting to the whims of a disturbed man as opposed to the harder way
of self-development and only accepting a partner who treats you with equal worth
and loves you without the need for change.
I find it a bit ironic, then, that despite so many
decades of feminism, this book still sold more than any feminist fiction or
nonfiction. I hope this was mostly thanks to the power of marketing and the
urge among contemporary women to want to be a part of the group who read this
“dirty” book. As we Satanists know, “The Law of the Forbidden” works quite well
to capture an audience. But even then, it is still a testament to how peer
pressure continues to rule the world, and how easy it can be to manipulate the
public into buying, if not reading or liking, trash like this.
Naturally, I find that sensible women would do well to
read Anton Szandor LaVey’s The Satanic
Witch instead. It has much more to say about exploring fetishes, female
empowerment, and the real world than does Fifty
Shades of Grey. The Satanic Witch
has sold less copies, but we are okay with that because, as we can still
clearly see today, relatively few people are ready to handle the wisdom it
contains. Be warned though, The Satanic
Witch is not fiction. It requires more effort of the mind than “mommy-porn
chick-lit” hybrids offering titillating fantasy rather than truly opening the
mind to wider possibilities towards one’s achievement of personal sensual
fulfillment.
As a final thought, I would like to point out that sometimes the
coat-tails of an event, such as a much-hyped film release, are worth keeping an
eye on. Making good use of the current media promotion of the FSoG film, Lionsgate is hopping on the bandwagon with a re-release of
the 2002 classic Secretary, a film which I thoroughly enjoyed upon its
original release, and still do, from time to time, on DVD. The male lead,
played by James Spader, is, surely not coincidentally, called “Mr Grey”. While Secretary is not perfect, and I particularly disliked the suggestion that the female lead
starts out as having psychological problems before beginning to work for her
Mr. Grey, the film has a remarkable realism, and nailed some aspects of BDSM in
a way that we simply cannot expect from the upcoming FSoG film. I personally
especially liked how the director went against the studio’s initial requests,
and did not see a reason to have the main characters be “cured” of their not-so-vanilla
desires. At the same time, the domination and submission portrayed in Secretary is really rather realistic,
and was well received within the BDSM community also, as many there were
smiling and nodding with recognition at certain scenes. The end result is a
very enjoyable story, and a film I can really recommend. We will have to wait
and see about the filmed Fifty Shades of Grey, but, based on the book, my hopes cannot
really be as high.