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Church of Satan Sigil of Baphomet

HELL’S BELLS: Satanic Weddings

With the recent SCOTUS decision allowing legal same-sex marriage throughout the USA, certain religious groups have rushed to condemn this position. In contrast, the Church of Satan welcomes this landmark ruling. During our Year 50 Conclave (held this past Walpurgisnacht in Washington, DC) our Reverend Lee Crowell, who resides in Virginia, discussed his successful 2012 legal battle to be allowed to officiate at weddings, one part of his responsibilities as an ordained Priest in the Church of Satan. While ministers of many faiths typically are granted this privilege without question, Crowell—a successful attorney—had to contest the initial denial, even though […]

MEREDITH WHITNEY, THE “WITCH” OF WALL ST. & THE POISONOUS FRUIT OF IRRESPONSIBILITY

I’m a Street addict, and Meredith Whitney has the good stuff. If you recall, a veritable witch’s brew wafted around her 31 October 2007 report on Citigroup ©, predicting Citigroup would cut its dividend because it was holding too much worthless paper. Some have said that Ms. Whitney is the Oracle of Wall Street. Some CEOs are probably still having nightmares of her flying around on a broom. Ms. Whitney has class and doesn’t call CEOs who cannot comprehend their own books liars, but rather errs on the safe side that they are just dullards. While Whitney had some rough […]

“The means by which a humanoid may be constructed are as diverse as the choice of materials will allow.”—Dr. Anton Szandor LaVey, The Devil’s Notebook. Decades ago, Dr. LaVey predicted a future industry of android companions. As we are making our way into the second decade of the 21st century, a genuine bond between man and machine is closer than ever. The company that introduced The RealDoll to the world has started a new enterprise called, Realbotix. This new effort brings robotics and artificial intelligence to the RealDoll, with an end goal towards creating the illusion of sentience within the […]

Boost Your Health with Vitamin Ego

A scientific study has shown that high self-esteem shields an individual from unnecessary anxiety and its detrimental health effects. That’s obvious enough to a Satanist, and probably to just about anyone. But since we value science, it is gratifying when a controlled experiment supports our principles. We Satanists “worship” ourselves, being what Magus Peter H. Gilmore has termed, “I-theists.” Far from being a megalomaniacal delusion, this is a balanced, well-founded sense of self-centered self-respect. And the science demonstrates that it not only feels good, but is also good for our health. Yet another reminder to take that daily dose of […]

Blaming The Devil?

Blaming The Devil? If we’re going to blame the Devil for this, let’s not beat around the bush. All “he” did was help this person reveal her true self in a manner that allowed the whole world to see it. How ugly or inappropriate it might be is solely her responsibility. —Reverend Daniel CoffinRust Byrd

For Christ’s Sake!

The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office has denied Matthew Beck, an entrepreneur who has already registered “Hookers for Jesus” and Redneck Jesus” his attempt to trademark the name “Porno Jesus” for a line of adult entertainment products. Attorney’s for the office said the name “consists of or comprises immoral or scandalous matter” and “includes matter which may disparage or bring into contempt or disrepute persons, institutions, beliefs or national symbols.” The appeals board was worried the mark links Jesus with pornography and could upset Christian Americans. Hmmm, wonder if the Trademark Office folks would have a problem with “Porno Satan”? […]

Church of Satan Sigil of Baphomet

YOU SAY “SOCIOPATH” LIKE IT’S A BAD THING….

In the demonic comedy, Nightcrawler, Rene Russo’s character, Nina Romina, advises the budding nightcrawler, Louis Bloom (Jake Gyllenhaal):  “Think of our newscast as, ‘Screaming Woman Running Down the Street with Her Throat Cut’”. Thus, the film Nightcrawler encapsulates how the modern day Roman Coliseum is alive and well. In Nietzsche’s writings, he offered that a feast was never a feast without bloodshed for entertainment, and what is TV without violence commodified into a consumable product? Bread and circus: the more things change, the more they stay the same. As Maynard James Keenan sings in the song “Vicarious,” on the Tool […]

THE DEVIL IN MARDI GRAS

I do enjoy Mardi Gras. I love its history and aesthetics. I don’t participate much due to crowds, although I have enjoyed putting on a tux and going out on the town in the past. Mardi Gras is sort of like Halloween in that regular people get to experience a fleeting glimpse at life as Satanists. But Mardi Gras is a couple of weeks worth of sin, ritual and ceremony, where no indulgence is denied. The tableau during a Mardi Gras Ball is in many ways a literal Satanic Ritual – the ones we’ve witnessed tend to have an acting “Priest” […]

BBC – Podcasts and Downloads – The Infinite Monkey Cage

BBC – Podcasts and Downloads – The Infinite Monkey Cage In this entertaining episode of The Infinite Monkey Cage, a BBC science/comedy radio show, Professor Brian Cox and the panel separate quantum physics from the popular phenomenon of quantum pseudoscience peddled by religious gurus & spiritual occultists.  Don’t be fooled by New Age mysticism masquerading as science, leave it to the moronic masses. —Reverend Ashley S. Palmer