66 posts

The Glamor of Grammar

When Magus LaVey said, “Satanism demands study—NOT worship,” he defined the Satanic standard that Magus Gilmore has termed “the Magic of Mastery.” The very idea of study has long been so closely associated with witchcraft that the witchy word “glamour” is derived from the same word as “grammar.” The Latin term “grammatica,” meaning learning or scholarship, often had occult implications during the Middle Ages. The same word also gives us “grimoire,” weaving a web that supports the principle of eclectic studies as the foundation of all magic. So whatever your speciality (to channel Minnie Castevet), remember the magic that dwells […]

The Arab World’s Version of the Ice Bucket Challenge: Burning ISIS Flags

This is a “challenge” I can get behind. —Priestess Kim Rice As deserving as this symbolic blasphemy may be, I question the ultimate agenda of some of these activists and the feasibility of their goals. If you taunt marauding jihadists, you may have to consider being prepared to match violence with violence. Ultimately, who picks up the bill? —Reverend Raul Antony I find it heartening that some in the Arab world are using mockery to deal with the rabid dogs of the Islamic State. If only a musician from that region would retool Spike Jones’ “Der Führer’s Face” to suit the situation. […]

Who Gets to March?

Just when the NYC St. Patrick’s Day Parade lifts its ban on openly gay participants, Louisiana is upholding its ban on same-sex marriage. Louisiana, abetted by Judge Martin L. C. Feldman of Federal District Court, has interrupted the steady progress toward justice in marriage laws across the United States, enforcing theocracy in the name of “democracy.” A Catholic tradition is loosening is restrictions while Louisiana allows bigots to infringe upon the rights of others. For now, same-sex couples in Louisiana won’t be marching down the aisle. But, as a straight New Yorker with roots in Nawlins, I’ll raise a glass of […]


Why is there an “invocation” in the first place? Why are our government officials “praying” to anything during our time, paid for by our tax dollars? That’s some unconstitutional horseshit, right there. Pray on your own time, if you really think prayer guides you. If you’re on my time, your ass better be doing something more akin to law-making than sitting on your knees asking Jeebus if he thinks the intersection of Main & Park needs a flashing red light or just a stop sign. —Magister David Harris  

HPV—Kill It Before It Kills Your Kids!

HPV, the human papilloma virus causes cancer—and nearly everyone who has had a sexual encounter in his or her lives has been exposed. 14 million new infections occur every year in the U.S. alone that could cause cancer of the cervix, penis, anus and throat. Except for HIV, HPV is the most fatal STD (sexually transmitted disease). That’s the truth, plain and simple. But because millions of parents fear it’ll be a gateway for their adolescent children to begin having sex, they’re refusing to have them vaccinated against this dangerously rampant virus. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, in […]

Comedy 3.0

In the USA, there is much brouhaha concerning a federal grant for over $700,000 toward the development of computer software that writes jokes. The fundamental mechanics of humor are exploited by both pioneering comedians and the hacks who haunt what LaVey called “the dismal world of comedy clubs.” (“‘T’ Ain’t Funny, McGee,” Satan Speaks!) Yet consistently successful humor is the still-elusive holy grail of artificial intelligence, which grows ever closer to replacing the most productive aspects of your average human. By automating not only human tasks, but personalities, we can highlight and more freely enjoy the truly unique elements of […]

The “Nocebo Effect” and the “Invisible War”

Trends – Self Doubt – Peer Pressure…our media promotes and cultivates these at every turn. Our founder, Anton Szandor LaVey, coined a term—the “Invisible War"—denoting the stresses contemporary society and "big business” have wrought on our populace meant to keep people behaving as docile consumers. A study has shown that at least 30% of the nation’s populace now wants to buy and eat gluten-free products. When a group of self-professed “gluten-sensitive” people were tested on various diets (the nutritional content of which were not revealed until afterwards), they fully expected to feel worse at the end of the study. And they did, for all of the […]

Making Love With Living Dolls

As Anton LaVey predicted decades ago, many humans (especially our more lustful Satanic brethren) will be taking artificial companions as lovers. Well, according to think tank Pew Research Center’s newly released study, “AI, Robotics And The Future Of Jobs,” making love to our “Living Dolls” will happen by 2025. With the advent of teledonics and haptic technology already here, it’s no surprise that one expert said these new tech sexbots will know our every need. The field has even gotten it’s own moniker—“lovotics.” We like to call it satisfaction of good ol’ fashioned horniness…without the drama. —Hef With Horns

Modern-Day Mollycoddling, Godless Christians Thought Police, & Occult Knowledge

In the essay “Pervasive Pantywaistism” (The Satanic Scriptures), High Priest Peter H. Gilmore illustrates the Satanic spirit of intellectual rigor and self-assurance in the face of a sick culture that cares more about hurt feelings and keeping the sheep placid. The Satanist is aware that PC bellyaching can come from the godless just as likely as the ecclesiastic. We have an incoming generation drowning in its limp-wristed solipsism whose mantra is “This offends me, therefore it must offend everyone.”  Satanists cherish the works that inspire us, otherwise, we hit the “close” button and move on. Filtering out material that is useless is now a major task in […]